To my readers & people who always are there for me please read. What to expect in the next months. It is time for me to be honest.
In the past month or so I have been basically avoiding the actually posting articles on my blog. Now this being my first actual article that is not repackaged or redirected by another blog it may be one of the most personal posts thus far which will be followed by a series of highly informative information that every young addict, parent, health reader or just anyone whose life has brought them to this page in one form or another. The wealth of information will follow this post and I suggest you do come back to read what is posted - It was not researched information or old stories and you will understand what I mean by that statement in the days, weeks to come. Now if you have read any of my articles, my length of clean time being over 6 months with writing credited as the first recovery tool to help me gain more then a couple weeks clean has been mentioned frequently and the last 2 months I have not posted anything new to keep up that facade.
When the truth is I had a violent relapse sometime in mid May and it has lasted up until 3 weeks ago. Now with only 23 days truly substance free and after the last 4 months of deep depression and heavy usage of narcotics I am telling to whoever reads this blog what happened - graphic & thorough - and hoping that me returning to writing will benefit my future because I do have a vision for my life and even this web site but at this moment it is pretty dark.
"It Is Only After We Have Lost Everything That We Are Free To Do Anything." This resonates in my body and soul right now because it is a perfect summarization of my current life and I will tell you why.Now it is 11:00 P.M on Friday night as I am writing this. I went to N.A meeting today for the first time in months and it was hard, and admitting that the last 3-4 months I have been using, stealing, dealing, lying and cheating while self-proclaiming on this blog as clean is even harder for me and I hope that is appreciated.